Hello!

I took a few days off! Yesterday was my birthday, and I turned fifty. Fifty! It's so strange to think about. Fifty years.

High school feels like yesterday. I can still vividly recall my first crush, the nervous excitement, the butterflies in my stomach before my first kiss. I remember the thrill of competing at horse shows, the intense anticipation before entering the ring, the pounding of my heart. I remember being a Westernerair, the camaraderie, the delicious, oversized cinnamon rolls we devoured at the fairgrounds after performances, and the countless hours spent laughing with my best friend, Kimmy. Those were simpler times, filled with youthful energy and carefree abandon.

Then came my twenties, the whirlwind of raising two young children. It felt like an uphill battle, a constant struggle. Even though I had family living with me, I often felt the weight of responsibility fall squarely on my shoulders, as if I were navigating this challenging chapter entirely alone. That feeling, that burden, hasn't entirely disappeared. Even now, I still feel the pressure, the weight of daily responsibilities pressing down on me. Sometimes, it feels overwhelming, like more than I can bear.

My 30's gods what a painful time so I don't talk about it... ....

My 40's were okay I really kinda found and lost myself

 and now 50 where I think I finally have my footing I know where I want to be in life and then it's all going to be pretty much downhill but man what a fucking ride it's going to be!