When you know you know...

 Most people get to an age where they might know what's going to kill them, maybe they don't maybe they walk through life with the blissfully unaware.

I know.. and sometimes I gleefully tap my hourglass just to see if the sands will move a little faster, is this a suicide note, of sorts, the long and winding type. The kind that maybe someone will see at some point but likely not at all because no one really reads my blog so it's mostly just a place where I put my empty thoughts.

My heart hurts for a world and a place that I will no longer be a part of but also feel like I am not a part of, I'm tired of being so lonely.

So, tap, tap, tap, little hourglass...

Applause in Disguise

Applause in Disguise

They say not everyone will clap when you succeed. Some people, bless their hearts, will do the equivalent of clapping with their hands in their pockets. You know the type—they throw out comments that sound like compliments if you squint hard enough but carry just enough spice to make you go, "Wait, was that shade?"

But here’s the thing: even a backhanded comment is still applause in disguise. It means they noticed you. It means you’re doing something that stirs a reaction. And isn’t that the point? To leave a mark, to make waves, even if someone else insists on being a grumpy little raft in your ocean of awesome.

I’ve decided to stop wasting energy trying to convert the lukewarm crowd into a cheering section. If someone wants to sit on the sidelines, offering their unsolicited critiques like they’re an unpaid Yelp reviewer for my life, that’s their prerogative. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here doing my thing, turning their side-eye into spotlight fuel.

Because here’s the truth: the louder you shine, the harder it is to ignore. And sure, some people might throw shade—but shade is just another way of telling you you’re standing in the sun.

So let them talk, let them grumble. Let them get all clever with their passive-aggressive zingers. Every word, every sideways glance, every underhanded remark? That’s proof you’re on their radar. And being on someone’s radar means you’re doing something worth noticing.

So, to the clappers, the pocket-clappers, and the shade-throwers turned accidental hype squad: thank you. Your energy is appreciated—however it comes.

Now, excuse me while I get back to being unapologetically me. 🌟

 From the Sky
To the Roots

We give thanks honor and love to the highest.
Reverence, Love, and Light

From My Lungs
To Your Lungs
I love you

Root Work!

Root Work

Gratitude, Reverence, and Love To Life, Death, the Will, and The Highest Spirit
Gratitude, Reverence, and Love To The Air, Fire, Earth, and Water
(You can add the motion deepening on how deep you need your root work to go.
Gratitude, Reverence, and Love To The Ancestral Apirits That I Come From In Honor Glory, and Elevation
Gratitude, Reverence, and Love For Liberation, Free, and Truth.

Candle Color:
Black
Green 
White

I would like to give thanks and gratitude to Valkyrja Vörðr for her guidance 

All That Glitters!

 Be Careful What You Wish For: The Midas Touch and Life’s Unexpected Curses

You ever want something so bad that you’d do anything to get it? And then you finally get it, and—boom!—it blows up in your face? Yeah, that’s the King Midas special, and it’s got a lesson worth learning.

The Curse of the Golden Touch

So, Midas, this guy obsessed with wealth, gets a wish: everything he touches turns to gold. Sounds amazing, right? Until reality smacks him in the face—his food? Solid gold. His daughter? A shiny statue. Turns out, endless riches don’t mean much when you’re starving and lonely. Classic case of "be careful what you wish for."

Eventually, the gods took pity on him and reversed the curse, but not before he got a hard reality check. The moral? Sometimes, the thing you’re chasing is just a pretty, glittery trap.

The Modern Midas Effect

Midas’ mess isn’t just some old myth. We see it happen all the time:

• The Workaholic’s Burnout – You grind for success, thinking it’ll bring happiness, but end up exhausted, disconnected, and wondering what the hell happened.

• The Dream Job From Hell – It looked perfect on paper, but now you’re drowning in stress, deadlines, and caffeine-fueled anxiety.

• The Social Media Fame Trap – You wanted followers and validation, but now you can’t breathe without someone judging your every move.

How to Wish Wisely

So, should we just stop wishing for things? Nah, but maybe we should be a little smarter about it. Before you dive headfirst into your next big goal, ask yourself:

1. What’s the catch? Everything comes with a trade-off—are you cool with it?

2. Does this actually make you happy? Or are you chasing it because everyone else says you should?

3. Can you handle the baggage? More success, more problems. Are you ready for that?

4. Is there a way to have your cake and eat it too? Maybe there’s a way to get what you want without it turning into a personal disaster.

Final Thoughts

Midas thought he wanted untouchable wealth—until he realized he couldn’t actually touch anything. Lesson learned: don’t chase dreams blindly. Next time you find yourself obsessing over something, take a step back. Ask the hard questions. Make sure it won’t turn your life into a gilded nightmare.

Because sometimes, what looks like a dream is really just a fancy way to ruin everything.

SORRRY!

 I fell off the digital planet for a few days, eh.

I don't know if my brain needed it, my soul, the zen part of me that is me.
Whatever it was it needed a break,

I felt like I was ripping myself apart with everything I was doing and saying to everyone to what end?
No one cared or noticed.
I can not be this social person I think this blog is going to be the extent of it, maybe lurk a bit in a few discords but I don't read the text well and I infer a lot that isn't there I believe.  

And I think that's an age thing.

Who knows...

Anyway, look for more stuff here...

Pagan Witchy Stuff!
Phyre
💙

If you can't....

 If you can't run, you walk, if you can't walk you crawl, and if you can't crawl...


I'll be there to lift you up you just need to tell me..

Hello!

I took a few days off! Yesterday was my birthday, and I turned fifty. Fifty! It's so strange to think about. Fifty years.

High school feels like yesterday. I can still vividly recall my first crush, the nervous excitement, the butterflies in my stomach before my first kiss. I remember the thrill of competing at horse shows, the intense anticipation before entering the ring, the pounding of my heart. I remember being a Westernerair, the camaraderie, the delicious, oversized cinnamon rolls we devoured at the fairgrounds after performances, and the countless hours spent laughing with my best friend, Kimmy. Those were simpler times, filled with youthful energy and carefree abandon.

Then came my twenties, the whirlwind of raising two young children. It felt like an uphill battle, a constant struggle. Even though I had family living with me, I often felt the weight of responsibility fall squarely on my shoulders, as if I were navigating this challenging chapter entirely alone. That feeling, that burden, hasn't entirely disappeared. Even now, I still feel the pressure, the weight of daily responsibilities pressing down on me. Sometimes, it feels overwhelming, like more than I can bear.

My 30's gods what a painful time so I don't talk about it... ....

My 40's were okay I really kinda found and lost myself

 and now 50 where I think I finally have my footing I know where I want to be in life and then it's all going to be pretty much downhill but man what a fucking ride it's going to be!

Life, Death, Rebirth.

 

Mighty spirit of light that shines through the Cosmos, draw my flame closer in harmony to thee. Lift up my fire from out of the darkness, magnet of fire that is One with the ALL. Lift up my soul, thou mighty and potent.

Child of the Light, turn not away. Draw me in power to melt in thy furnace; One with all things and all things in One, fire of the life-strain and One with the All.

Oh man can we talk!?

 You ever have one of those days where the clock seems to play tricks on you? One minute, it’s mid-morning, and the next thing you know, it’s 7 PM and you’ve dissociated the day away. That’s me today. Staring at the clock like it’s betrayed me, wondering how time managed to slip through my fingers unnoticed. Dissociation has a funny way of taking over—like a survival mechanism that says, “Hey, let’s just unplug for a while,” except when you come back online, life’s problems are all still there, waiting.

Tomorrow’s looming, and I’m already over it. I’ve got a flat tire I can’t afford to fix and a heart that’s just... tired. It’s one of those days where being human feels like a job I didn’t apply for, and quitting isn’t an option. And I know—trust me, I know—that feeling this way isn’t unique. It’s not some grand revelation to say, “Hey, life is hard and sometimes I don’t want to do it.” But the struggle still feels deeply personal when you’re in it.

Lately, it even feels like my friends are tired of hearing me talk about my problems. That’s one of the hardest parts, isn’t it? Feeling like the people who care about you might be running low on patience. They probably aren’t—at least not the ones who truly matter—but when your brain is already working overtime to convince you you’re a burden, it’s hard not to spiral. I’ve started hesitating before sharing, wondering if I’m pushing people away.

I think part of why I’m writing this is to remind myself—and anyone reading—that it’s okay to feel this way. You’re not alone in the struggle, even if it feels isolating. It’s okay to acknowledge that life gets heavy and messy, and that some days, the simplest things—like a flat tire—can feel like the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

But it’s also okay to take up space with your feelings. To talk about them, to write about them, to shout them into the void if that’s what helps. Because sometimes, putting it out into the world can make it feel a little less suffocating. Sometimes, it’s a way of telling yourself, “Hey, I’m here. I’m struggling, but I’m still here.”

So, here’s my tiny shout into the void: today was hard, and tomorrow might be too. But for now, I’m giving myself permission to feel it all without shame. If you’re in the same boat, know this: you’re not alone. And even when the weight of it all feels unbearable, you’re allowed to lean on others, to take up space, and to simply be—however messy that might look.

Much Love,
Phyre
💙

TikTok

 HAHAHAHAHA

Leaving this up because FUCK!

Tik Tok

I mean, 
FUCK
it's supposed to be going away tomorrow and I didn't think I was going to be that sad over it, and suddenly today I'm really, really messed up about it.

I'm going to miss so many good people and I know a lot of people are like there are other apps and yes there are other apps and other places to get my brain rot but that place just felt more like _home_ than many other places.

Man....