All That Glitters!

 Be Careful What You Wish For: The Midas Touch and Life’s Unexpected Curses

You ever want something so bad that you’d do anything to get it? And then you finally get it, and—boom!—it blows up in your face? Yeah, that’s the King Midas special, and it’s got a lesson worth learning.

The Curse of the Golden Touch

So, Midas, this guy obsessed with wealth, gets a wish: everything he touches turns to gold. Sounds amazing, right? Until reality smacks him in the face—his food? Solid gold. His daughter? A shiny statue. Turns out, endless riches don’t mean much when you’re starving and lonely. Classic case of "be careful what you wish for."

Eventually, the gods took pity on him and reversed the curse, but not before he got a hard reality check. The moral? Sometimes, the thing you’re chasing is just a pretty, glittery trap.

The Modern Midas Effect

Midas’ mess isn’t just some old myth. We see it happen all the time:

• The Workaholic’s Burnout – You grind for success, thinking it’ll bring happiness, but end up exhausted, disconnected, and wondering what the hell happened.

• The Dream Job From Hell – It looked perfect on paper, but now you’re drowning in stress, deadlines, and caffeine-fueled anxiety.

• The Social Media Fame Trap – You wanted followers and validation, but now you can’t breathe without someone judging your every move.

How to Wish Wisely

So, should we just stop wishing for things? Nah, but maybe we should be a little smarter about it. Before you dive headfirst into your next big goal, ask yourself:

1. What’s the catch? Everything comes with a trade-off—are you cool with it?

2. Does this actually make you happy? Or are you chasing it because everyone else says you should?

3. Can you handle the baggage? More success, more problems. Are you ready for that?

4. Is there a way to have your cake and eat it too? Maybe there’s a way to get what you want without it turning into a personal disaster.

Final Thoughts

Midas thought he wanted untouchable wealth—until he realized he couldn’t actually touch anything. Lesson learned: don’t chase dreams blindly. Next time you find yourself obsessing over something, take a step back. Ask the hard questions. Make sure it won’t turn your life into a gilded nightmare.

Because sometimes, what looks like a dream is really just a fancy way to ruin everything.

SORRRY!

 I fell off the digital planet for a few days, eh.

I don't know if my brain needed it, my soul, the zen part of me that is me.
Whatever it was it needed a break,

I felt like I was ripping myself apart with everything I was doing and saying to everyone to what end?
No one cared or noticed.
I can not be this social person I think this blog is going to be the extent of it, maybe lurk a bit in a few discords but I don't read the text well and I infer a lot that isn't there I believe.  

And I think that's an age thing.

Who knows...

Anyway, look for more stuff here...

Pagan Witchy Stuff!
Phyre
💙

If you can't....

 If you can't run, you walk, if you can't walk you crawl, and if you can't crawl...


I'll be there to lift you up you just need to tell me..

Hello!

I took a few days off! Yesterday was my birthday, and I turned fifty. Fifty! It's so strange to think about. Fifty years.

High school feels like yesterday. I can still vividly recall my first crush, the nervous excitement, the butterflies in my stomach before my first kiss. I remember the thrill of competing at horse shows, the intense anticipation before entering the ring, the pounding of my heart. I remember being a Westernerair, the camaraderie, the delicious, oversized cinnamon rolls we devoured at the fairgrounds after performances, and the countless hours spent laughing with my best friend, Kimmy. Those were simpler times, filled with youthful energy and carefree abandon.

Then came my twenties, the whirlwind of raising two young children. It felt like an uphill battle, a constant struggle. Even though I had family living with me, I often felt the weight of responsibility fall squarely on my shoulders, as if I were navigating this challenging chapter entirely alone. That feeling, that burden, hasn't entirely disappeared. Even now, I still feel the pressure, the weight of daily responsibilities pressing down on me. Sometimes, it feels overwhelming, like more than I can bear.

My 30's gods what a painful time so I don't talk about it... ....

My 40's were okay I really kinda found and lost myself

 and now 50 where I think I finally have my footing I know where I want to be in life and then it's all going to be pretty much downhill but man what a fucking ride it's going to be!

Life, Death, Rebirth.

 

Mighty spirit of light that shines through the Cosmos, draw my flame closer in harmony to thee. Lift up my fire from out of the darkness, magnet of fire that is One with the ALL. Lift up my soul, thou mighty and potent.

Child of the Light, turn not away. Draw me in power to melt in thy furnace; One with all things and all things in One, fire of the life-strain and One with the All.

Oh man can we talk!?

 You ever have one of those days where the clock seems to play tricks on you? One minute, it’s mid-morning, and the next thing you know, it’s 7 PM and you’ve dissociated the day away. That’s me today. Staring at the clock like it’s betrayed me, wondering how time managed to slip through my fingers unnoticed. Dissociation has a funny way of taking over—like a survival mechanism that says, “Hey, let’s just unplug for a while,” except when you come back online, life’s problems are all still there, waiting.

Tomorrow’s looming, and I’m already over it. I’ve got a flat tire I can’t afford to fix and a heart that’s just... tired. It’s one of those days where being human feels like a job I didn’t apply for, and quitting isn’t an option. And I know—trust me, I know—that feeling this way isn’t unique. It’s not some grand revelation to say, “Hey, life is hard and sometimes I don’t want to do it.” But the struggle still feels deeply personal when you’re in it.

Lately, it even feels like my friends are tired of hearing me talk about my problems. That’s one of the hardest parts, isn’t it? Feeling like the people who care about you might be running low on patience. They probably aren’t—at least not the ones who truly matter—but when your brain is already working overtime to convince you you’re a burden, it’s hard not to spiral. I’ve started hesitating before sharing, wondering if I’m pushing people away.

I think part of why I’m writing this is to remind myself—and anyone reading—that it’s okay to feel this way. You’re not alone in the struggle, even if it feels isolating. It’s okay to acknowledge that life gets heavy and messy, and that some days, the simplest things—like a flat tire—can feel like the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

But it’s also okay to take up space with your feelings. To talk about them, to write about them, to shout them into the void if that’s what helps. Because sometimes, putting it out into the world can make it feel a little less suffocating. Sometimes, it’s a way of telling yourself, “Hey, I’m here. I’m struggling, but I’m still here.”

So, here’s my tiny shout into the void: today was hard, and tomorrow might be too. But for now, I’m giving myself permission to feel it all without shame. If you’re in the same boat, know this: you’re not alone. And even when the weight of it all feels unbearable, you’re allowed to lean on others, to take up space, and to simply be—however messy that might look.

Much Love,
Phyre
💙

TikTok

 HAHAHAHAHA

Leaving this up because FUCK!

Tik Tok

I mean, 
FUCK
it's supposed to be going away tomorrow and I didn't think I was going to be that sad over it, and suddenly today I'm really, really messed up about it.

I'm going to miss so many good people and I know a lot of people are like there are other apps and yes there are other apps and other places to get my brain rot but that place just felt more like _home_ than many other places.

Man....

I can't do sh*t right... right?

 Or that's what my brain likes to tell me.

I mean, really, I don't know why.


I should give myself grace, my bills are paid every month, and ya know I'm fed for the most part, I take care of my pets, but man my brain says I'm fucking worthless. Worthless by who's standard I don't know you'd have to ask my brain.

The insidious voice in my head whispers that I'm a failure, a drain on resources, not measuring up to the expectations of my stepfather and grandmother.  Their unspoken judgment stings, amplified by my chronic illness.  Despite my contributions, despite raising two successful, contributing children who are now working and paying taxes – fulfilling the societal role of a 'breeder,' a role seemingly valued more than my own inherent worth – the relentless self-criticism persists.  It's a constant barrage of negativity, a relentless pressure to end my life. The thoughts are horrifyingly specific:  the image of a short pier, the tempting height of a bridge, the chilling sharpness of a blade, the morbid curiosity about the taste of gun oil… all swirling in a vortex of despair.

But maybe all I need is a nap....

Take care of yourself, love who you have while you have them, (Thanks Phil)
Much Love,
Phyre

💙

I wish I could change the world.

 Do it for the VINE

but no really I'm on RedNote/Xiaohongshu,
Tiktok gone on the 19th?

I don't know, I'll believe it when it happens.

I hate the fact that there is going to be such a brutal cold snap coming through I think of all the poor homeless people who have nowhere to go and the fact that we have more empty houses in the USA than we have homeless people makes me sick.

But if I could change the world here's my start!

Brilliant plan with a strong ripple effect. Building tiny home communities as halfway houses provides both immediate shelter and a pathway to stability. These communities could be equipped with:

• On-site addiction recovery resources like counseling, group therapy, and access to medical professionals.
• Job training programs tailored to local industries to make reentry into the workforce smoother.
• Community support systems that foster accountability, collaboration, and a sense of belonging, which are essential for long-term recovery.

The choice of concrete tiny homes is especially smart, as they’d be more resistant to storms, which is crucial for hurricane-prone areas like Florida. These homes could also be designed to be energy-efficient, with solar panels and rainwater collection, keeping operating costs low for residents and municipalities.

With more people getting clean, finding jobs, and reintegrating into society, not only does the workforce grow, but so does the economic contribution of these individuals. As they aren't burdened with rent or food costs, they can invest more in education, transportation, and other areas that stimulate the economy.

States like Florida would absolutely benefit. By reducing homelessness and the associated costs (e.g., emergency services, healthcare, policing), these programs could help close budget deficits. At the same time, they’d create healthier, safer communities, which is a win for everyone.

It’s practical, compassionate, and economically smart. 

Love you,

Phyre

💙

F*ckn Health Shit!

 Oh, man!

I love it when I go to the doctor and get health news, anywho, my kidneys are not having a fun time. 

So it's time to start drinking more fluids and going back on the Kidney diet. 

Mayo Clinic Kidney Diet

We are all dying, I just know what's killing me faster than everyone else.
Honestly, there's just a part of me that's like fuck it let's run at this wall full speed, screw the diet, drink the sodas, eat all the salt,  do all the bad things, and let it happen. 

Why not right?
At least then it wouldn't be suicide.... right... I mean... right?

Phyre
💙

Almost,

 You ever think about all the times that you went left, when you should have gone right,  if your life would be different?

The almost?

I think about that all the time.

Well, I almost kissed that one person and I almost did that one thing, and today... well, today I'll live to see tomorrow.

Take care of yourself.

Love,
Phyre

❤️

Somedays it be that way...

Do you ever wake up and have all these plans in your head of what you want to get done in the day, and then your day goes sideways? You have to change every plan, or you don't get it done, or you have to move it to a different day.

Then you add all the fun body things, the money things, feeling lonely all the time, and it is like, why even be human?

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe it will not.
Till then, know that you are loved, if by none other than me.

Phyre

💙

I really want to disapear

That gnawing feeling of superficial connection, of being known only on the surface, not truly seen or understood.

It's a loneliness that goes beyond simple solitude; it's the ache of wanting a profound, meaningful connection, a love that reaches beyond pleasantries and polite conversation, a bond that delves into the complexities of your soul, your vulnerabilities, your hopes, and fears.  You crave acceptance not just for who you present to the world, but for the messy, imperfect, authentic you. 

You long for someone who sees past the carefully constructed facade, someone who cherishes the parts of you that you often hide, someone who loves you completely, flaws and all, on a level that transcends the everyday.  It's a yearning for genuine intimacy, for a connection so deep it feels like coming home.  A desire for a love that isn't just a reflection of your outward appearance, but a celebration of your inner world.

Navigating Self-Worth After a Challenging Doctor's Visit

 

Navigating Self-Worth After a Challenging Doctor's Visit

For many of us, doctor’s visits are already loaded with anxiety. We walk in hoping for reassurance, clarity, or guidance—but sometimes, we walk out carrying the heavy weight of harsh words, misunderstood symptoms, or unexpected news. If you’ve ever felt your self-worth take a hit after a doctor’s appointment, know that you’re not alone.

The Emotional Impact of Medical Encounters

Medical appointments can be especially vulnerable experiences. Our health—physical, mental, or emotional—is deeply tied to our sense of self. When a healthcare provider dismisses our concerns, focuses solely on weight, or seems impersonal, it can leave us feeling invalidated, unheard, or even judged. And while their intentions might not be malicious, the fallout can still sting.

Why It Hurts

1. Personal Validation: When our health struggles are questioned or minimized, it can feel like our lived experience is being denied.

2. Societal Messages: Many of us already wrestle with external pressures about body image, productivity, or "being healthy." A negative or impersonal medical interaction can amplify those inner critics.

3. Trust and Vulnerability: Seeking medical advice often means exposing fears or admitting vulnerabilities. When this openness isn’t met with compassion, it can be deeply discouraging.

Steps to Reframe and Rebuild

While it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt, there are ways to process these experiences constructively and safeguard your sense of self-worth:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings • Give yourself permission to feel upset, frustrated, or disappointed. Suppressing emotions often leads to them manifesting in other, more harmful ways.

2. Separate the Provider from the Problem • Remember, a single appointment or one healthcare provider’s perspective doesn’t define your worth. Their expertise is not the sum total of your value.

3. Seek Validation Elsewhere • Reach out to supportive friends, family, or online communities who can listen without judgment. Sometimes, sharing your story is a healing act in itself.

4. Advocate for Yourself • If possible, consider seeking a second opinion or switching providers. Your health deserves a team that respects and supports you.

5. Focus on Your Strengths • Reflect on the resilience it took to address your health in the first place. Taking charge of your well-being, even in the face of adversity, is no small feat.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not defined by a number on a scale, a misunderstood symptom, or a passing comment. Your worth is intrinsic and unwavering, even if it feels fragile in moments like these. Reclaiming your sense of self-worth after a difficult doctor’s visit takes time and care, but it’s a journey you’re strong enough to undertake.

Remember, it’s okay to feel hurt, but don’t let that pain write your story. You are your own best advocate, and your voice matters—always.

Small Atom, Big Space

Have you ever thought really deep, deep thoughts?

 
Hold on with me here, I know, I'm a strange one but really when you think about the Earth being a closed bubble, that means that every living thing that has ever breathed has at one time inhaled and exhaled the same air as you.

So if you're ever feeling small and disconnected, there's maybe that small oddball thought to make you feel grounded and connected to everyone else.




From my far, far strange side of the digital space,

Phyre

💙
 








Well, I know what you want from me
You want someone to be
Your reflection, your bitter deception
Setting you free
So you take what you want and leave
Who made you like this?
Who encrypted your dark gospel in body language?
Synapses snap back in blissful anguish
Tell me you met me in past lives, past life
Past what might be eating me from the inside, darling
Half algorithm, half deity
Glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream
Tell me you guessed my future and it mapped onto your fantasy
Turn me into your mannequin and I'll turn you into my puppet queen
Won't you come and dance in the dark with me?
Show me what you are, I am desperate to know
Nobody better than the perfect enemy
Digital demons make the night feel heavenly
Make it real
'Cause anything's better than the way I feel right now
I can offer you a blacklit paradise

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky
Lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails
With one eye on the door, other eye on a rail
Other, other eye following a scarlet trail
And the last few drops from the Holy Grail, now

Rose gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass
Blood stains on the collar, please, just don't ask
Be the first to the feast, let's choke on the past
And take to the broken skies at last

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky

You're gonna watch me ascend
And I know what you want from me
You want the same as me
My redemption, eternal ascension

Setting me free
So I'll take what I want then leave
You make me wish I could disappear, oh
You make me wish I could disappear

In the Tower

You know when you're chronically ill and you have a good handle on your illness and you start thinking you can be a normal human again.

And then life hands you a big ol' reminder that says F' you have a physical manifestation of WHY you can never have normal, but yay for upcoming birthdays and doctor appointments am I right?

What a joke, so I can go in, and they can draw blood, and move meds around and hope that things improve.

But the drowning fatigue, the constant nausea, the wonderful seizures, the vomiting, the depression all the other things that come with being me being broken a broken fibro queen

It is what it is. 

So, I stay in the tower, because it's easier than trying.

 

All The Spaces In Between

 Somedays, I wonder why I'm here,
I wake
I eat
I have panic attacks
I vomit
I cry
I rinse and repeat.

Somedays I write, and some days I do nothing but sleep the day away because the depression is so bad.

But some days, the days and the spaces in between, I hang out with my friends and I hope I make a lasting impact on their lives, because if not I don't even know why I'm around. 

Most days I feel like a giant waste of space, of life, and resources.

Like what is the point of me?

I don't know what I add to this world.

So if you're feeling this way, know that you're necessary to the people in your life, they think you're valuable and worthy of their time. 

Love,

Phyre

❤️

CBT, Depression And Me!

Things I Have To Rember!

As a human who suffers from Major Depression, these things can all affect me and I need to start keeping better track of when these things are pushing in on my bubble and that I'm effectively using all of my coping skills to mitigate some of my dysfunction. I need to remember that none of these things lessen my value as a human, they are just things that happen in my life.

• Things turning out badly. 
• Getting what you don’t want. 
• Not getting what you want and believe you need in life; thinking about what you have not gotten that you wanted or needed. 
• Not getting what you have worked for. 
• Things are worse than you expected. 
• The death of someone you love; thinking about the deaths of people you love. 
• Losing a relationship; thinking about losses. 
• Being separated from someone you care for or value; thinking about how much you miss someone.  Being rejected or excluded. 
• Being disapproved of or disliked; not being valued by people you care about. 
• Discovering that you are powerless or helpless. 
• Being with someone else who is sad, hurt, or in pain. 
• Reading about other people’s problems or troubles in the world
  
  
  

Are these things maybe pressing in on your bubble and making you feel a little tight in your skin? What are some things that you can do to give you space? If they are, it might be something to think about. Just know, you're valid, valued, and necessary. I love you.

Phyre

❤️

Some days

 

Some days I can write like the world is on fire and the ink just pours from me and other days I hate it, the words won't flow and the ink is clogging my vines like oil sludge, and I hate the way I feel and I hate the way the world feels and I want to drown myself in my own misery. 


I want a giant hand to reach up and pull me under the ground until I become one with the dark soil and I disappear forever. Maybe one day that will happen, who knows. However, if you are reading this posthumously, know that I love you and I think that you are a fantastic human, you got this. 

If I am reading this at a later time in my life. What's shakin boo? Are we doing okay? Is this blog still a thing?

Just know it's all a cycle, an ebb and flow.
I love you.

Phyre 

❤️

My brain is a f*cking mess today!

 No Really

My brain is being a royal bitch today, we go from loving ourselves to wanting to jump off a bridge, and honestly, this is the part of depression no one really talks about. This dumb yo-yo that your brain will go through in one day, this fast cycle that will sometimes happen.

I guess I just have to give myself some grace, and maybe go take a freaking nap.

Just know that if you're somewhere in the digital space, and you're reading this and you're going through the same shit as me today, know you're not alone and I see you. We got this. This messy, weird thing called life, managing it in our meat mechs.

Sending you oodles of love,
Phyre ❤️

Happy New Years DAY 2025!

HAPPY 2025

As we step into 2025, I want to share my deepest wishes for each of you. I hope this year brings you boundless joy, financial blessings that ease your worries, and love so steady and profound that it wraps around you like the warmest embrace.

I wish for your dreams to take flight and for you to receive most of what you desire and everything you truly need. May your days be filled with laughter, your nights with peace, and your hearts with the kind of contentment that lingers long after the moment passes.

I am so grateful to call you my friends and family, and I count you among my greatest blessings. Here's to another year of love, growth, and cherished memories together.

With all my love,
Phyre